Spring Break 2011

We needed a mini vacay. Just a break from the day to day to take Mason somewhere cool. What's cooler for Mason than Shedd Aquarium?!

*Note: I am a horrible packer and I forgot both of our cameras at home...but Grampa Jim was with us with his camera so this is what you get when you are using a camera you aren't familiar with.

Bye Bye Fevers!

Yogurt tastes better off the tray.

A week of doctor visits, different meds and frustrating nights...and our Mace-meister is getting back to normal. After being diagnosed with pneumonia, he went on antibiotics but they didn't help. We took him back in and got sent home with a shot of antibiotics and albuterol/nebulizer treatments. We've been doing the nebulizer for a few days now, and it seems to be helping with his breathing and coughing. We are actually surprised that this was Mason's first pneumonia, given how often he has food go up his nose, its surprising something hasn't gotten into his lungs until now.

So we are now on our 3rd antibiotic and his fevers have pretty much subsided. I took it (mostly out of curiosity tonight), and it was at 99.4. Little stinker.

Mason has missed a week and a half of school and we were going to send him back tomorrow, but now it looks like the snow may be preventing that from happening. With spring break next week, it will be a full 3 weeks before he gets back to school. I'm ready for him to get back into his routine, and get his sleeping back into a routine! :) I haven't slept in my bed for 2 weeks - Mason and Chris have gotten lots of cuddle time. :)

On Sunday we're heading to Chicago for a few days. We wanted to do something for Mason's spring break from school. We've been talking about going to the Shedd Aquarium in Chicago for a long time - so we're ready to do it. We'll be picking up Jim (who is flying in from Phoenix) and he'll join us for our mini vacation. Other than Shedd, I'd like to see "The Bean" at Millenium Park. No other plans as of yet, so if you have any other recommendations, let me know!

Happy Spring! This is the only way Wisconsin knows how to celebrate it!

Mason Health Update

As things start to get back to routine around here, we get thrown for a loop.

This past weekend I traveled to the U.P. to see my cousin Charlene for her baby shower. It was a great weekend with the family - catching up with those we don't get to see that often. On the way home, about 3:00 on Sunday, Chris called to tell me that Mason had a 7 minute seizure. Ugh. I sunk into my chair and let him know I'd be home around 5:00.

Mason had been fighting a fever for a few days. It was a low grade fever until Sunday, and then it was bouncing all around...from 99 to 103. Chris said he wasn't sure if the seizure was going to stop...and when it hit the 5 minute mark, he went hunting for the emergency meds. Mason was blue in the head at this point. After administering his Diastat...the seizure stopped, within seconds. Thank goodness for preparedness.

Mason's fever continued to bounce around on Monday...making us fearful for another seizure. We got him in to see Dr. Shepherd who did the check over for other symptoms. (Mason is known for having a fever and no other symptoms.) As we walked up to 3rd floor for a chest x-ray I thought, dang it! Here we go again...we bring him in and never find out what he has! Well, thank goodness the doc likes to double check everything...Mason has pneumonia. She prescribed antibiotics. We will call her tomorrow if the fever is still visiting...and she may want to change the plan. We will also be increasing his other meds to help increase his threshold.

We knew it would happen eventually...but Mason's 15 month record of no seizures is pretty impressive.

So currently Mr. Cuddles has a 101 fever and is very irritable. We're enjoying the cuddle time but really wish he was his cheery self. We're hoping this clears up soon so he can return to school - which has been going great for him lately. He loves the bus, and reading books and watching the other kids. I think that the teachers enjoy him just as much.

Hope all is well health-wise with your families!

Paying it Forward

I often reflect on how lucky I am. This sort of thinking was not a regular thing for me until Mason was born, which is interesting, because well, after having your world change as dramatically as ours did, you really have two options: sulk and feel sorry for yourself or pick yourself up and move on. Like Chris and I have been asked a thousand times..."How do you do it?" Our answer has always been..."How do you not?" It's amazing how your perspective changes when you are in the situation. It was tough in the beginning, and can be tough at certain "low" points in our day to day, but for the most part, it's made me appreciate life and love more. Mason was perfect for Chris and I. We were in the fast lane, and Mason helped us to realize that the slow lane is okay too.

I spend less time feeling sorry for myself than I did 3 years ago, when we were still grieving. I spend a lot more time reflecting on how lucky I am. It sounds strange, but do you realize how the low points in your life are quickly followed by a realization of all the high points in your life? It's like God saying "I know this is tough now...but this will reveal new great things." Here's a few examples...

When I was pregnant, Chris and I talked every day about the benefit of having either a boy or a girl. I had a strong feeling it was a boy and I was so excited to have a boy. I looked forward to him playing sports, going hunting with dad, dating girls, getting married. After we got the news of his health, all I wanted was a healthy child. Now that we have his health concerns addressed, all I want is a happy boy. We've been blessed with a very happy child. My big goals for life turned into small goals, which have been revealed as small blessings each and every day. God gave us a challenge, and now that we're living that challenge, more great things have been revealed in our lives - new perspectives, greater feelings of accomplishment and many, many happy days.

We recently lost our Mom. The grieving process is still taking place. However, the smallest blessings could be seen during this entire process. When we all gathered in the hospital to be there for Barb, the love in the room was overwhelming. Barb was an instrumental piece in our family - she was truly the thread that built our family quilt - so to speak. We still struggle with the thought of carrying on without her, but I am hopeful that this process will cause us to grow even closer and stronger. It was also a strong reminder to tell your loved ones how much you care for them, and never take a moment for granted. This perspective was a huge blessing...and I hope that I can maintain this perspective for as long as possible, because I believe it helps me to be a more empathetic, caring person overall.

So to bring this whole story back to the reason for this post....

Early February, I challenged myself to become more involved...to give back to the community that has supported us as a family in so many ways this past 3 years. The cause that presented itself at the time was the Wausau Heart Walk, managed by the American Heart Association as well as the American Stroke Association. The American Heart Association helps to raise funds to support leading heart research. Thanks to this research, many advances have been made in heart care including advanced heart surgery procedures, heart transplants, etc. This really hit home for me, as Mason's congenital heart disease required surgery at 7 months old. I can't imagine our situation 30 years ago without the advances in heart repairs. Perhaps Mason wouldn't be with us today.

I committed to being a part of the 2011 Heart Walk Committee, which helps to organize the event. Our first meeting was exactly 1 week after Barb's stroke. I did not want to go. I did not want to open myself up to talking about the importance of heart health. But I went. I went for Barb. I was reminded countless times during the meeting, as others shared their personal stories for their passion behind the cause, why I was there. This was something, something small I could do to make a difference.

Saturday, May 14th, I am walking in memory of Barb Mrdutt and in honor of Mason. While our main goal is recruiting walkers for the event, a more important goal is raising funds for heart research. If you are available to join me and my family - please consider walking the 3 mile walk with us. If you can't make it, please consider donating to this important cause.

Visit my heart walk page.

It's my Lenten goal to Pay It Forward. (Yes - I am copying your plan...you know who you are.) The walk is my big thing...but I hope to fill each day with little things. Take time for others. Tell my family I love them. Live for the moment. Do someone a favor. Reflect on what I'm thankful for.

I'm challenging you to pay it forward as well. Reflect on how lucky you are, count your blessings, find a passion, and support a cause. No matter how bad it gets (which can be pretty bad sometimes), there is always worse. So cliche, but so true.

So go. Do it. Pay. It. Forward.

The Void That Remains

Not many words can express what the Mrdutt family has been through the past 2 weeks. I attempted to write this post over 5 times, each time not sure what I wanted to say. You never expect that this sort of event will take place in your family - and when it does, it opens your eyes to many things. Rather than sugar-coating this experience in any way, here is a brief, personal look into our life the past two weeks.

The morning of Thursday, February 17th, we received a phone call at approximately 6:00 am. It was Chris's brother Ben, letting us know that Barb was being rushed in an ambulance to Red Cedar Medical Center in Menomonie. It was a suspected stroke.

I called my sister, Michelle, to see if she could come pick up Addy and Mason, that Chris and I were heading west to see his mom. I called into work, as did Chris, and then called my parents to give them an update. We were on the road by 7:00 am.

We arrived in Eau Claire where we met Ben, Jim and Barb - who was transported from Menomonie to Eau Claire. They administered tPA, a clot-busting drug and at this point, we were not aware of the severity of this stroke. So we sat in the waiting room, where we were shortly joined by Katie, Matt, Anna & Marek...and we prayed.

Over the next few days of Barb at the CCU (Critical Care Unit), we were overwhelmed with the visits from all of Barb's 8 siblings along with many friends, many more family members, coworkers and neighbors. We spent countless minutes by her side over 3 days, trying to get sleep when possible. The news we heard from the neurologist was extremely hard to absorb...she had lost 80% of the left side of her brain, which controls her entire right side, her speech, her mobility, along with countless other things. We had many moments of understanding with her and her family - including many personal moments with Mason. Mason visited for a few hours and said goodbye, and we weren't sure if he would ever get to see her again...

Barb was a fighter, and it was quite the impressive fight that she upheld. She was transferred up to the 4th floor neuro area, where she continued to receive lots of visits from friends and family. The nursing care at Luther was phenomenal. We had lots of moments with her, telling her we loved her, that we'd miss her, but that she gave us the strength to endure this and continues to give us strength to live on.

On Friday, February 25, Barb was brought home under Hospice care from the hospital she worked at - Westfield Hospital. It was wonderful having her back home to visit with her and allow her to enjoy a few more sunrises. We held a mass with Fr. Gerry at the house, with Barb present, and many other wonderful final memories. Mason was able to have a few more moments with her when Barb would wake up and he gave her lots of smiles - smiles I hope she remembers.

Chris and I returned to work on February 28th, with an attempt to return things to normal for a short time, but things were anything but normal. Thoughts continue to flood my brain over the many future events that take place without our mother, without our grandmother. Barb passed away on Wednesday, March 2nd.

We now plan the celebration of life that Barb wanted. First and foremost, Barb was a tissue donor - which is a wish she always made us aware of. The services will take place on Sunday, March 6th. Planning this event was not as daunting as it seemed, as Barb made it perfectly clear what her wishes were...lots of music and gosh darn it, feed the people!

Although a majority of the tears have been shed, I'm sure that more will be shed in the future, as our sweet memories remind us of her. Many of my tears were shed over the thoughts of Mason growing up without his Gramma Barb, the person that was there to help us with him the second we needed her. Mason adored her, as she did him. I am comforted knowing that she is watching over him from above and rather than being with him on the weekends or occasional holidays, she will be with him always.

She has given us so much strength. However, our visits, our dinners, our time on the lake, our cribbage games, our Christmas Eves, our birthday cakes, the birth of our children...none of them will be the same without her.

We miss you and love you Mom. Don't worry about us up there...you've taught us everything we need to be okay. Eventually, we'll be okay.