Emotional Mommy

You know that feeling when you're excited about something for somebody but for you it makes you nervous as all heck so you have a hard time struggling with your emotions? It's called being a MOM. Today was a emotional mommy day.

Michelle and I entrusted the care of Spence-man and Mace-meister to Chris while we went to Mosinee Elementary to meet with 4 lovely ladies - Mason's future special ed teacher, physical therapist, occupational therapist and speech therapist.

When we first got there, we signed in at the office and walked down to the classroom. They were expecting us, so we were introduced to the teacher and then sat down to observe the classroom for about 30 minutes. There were about 10 kids in there, only two girls. They were eating lunch. The biggest surprise to me was to see how "high functioning" all the kids were. If I saw 9 of those kids in a normal classroom, I wouldn't suspect a thing. There was 1 boy, 4 years old, in a wheelchair like Mason's. He was feeding himself, and drinking his cup with some assistance. My first thought was...shit. Mason is going to be the hardest one. I think Michelle was thinking the same thing.

*Pause for emotional mommy breakdown*

I questioned (to Michelle and in my head) why they were pushing us to join the Monday/Wednesday rotation. There weren't any kids in there that I would compare to Mason. As we came to learn, this was likely done intentionally to ensure Mason gets more one on one time.

The kids wrapped up lunch and started an activity on this cool board that allowed them to "dress a turkey". It was like an interactive wall dry-erase board. Very cool tool. Michelle says to me "Where did the kid in the wheelchair go?" Come to find out, they took him in a separate room for speech therapy. I realized that they do find a way to give some kids one on one time during activities that do not necessarily "match" where they're at developmentally.

During all this I'm hearing sniffling and comments about getting sick and I'm thinking...that's it...he's coming here in a bubble.

After storytime, they laid the kids down for a nap. (Shoot. Mason doesn't just "lay down" for a nap.) Once all seemed to be in order, the teacher took us to a conference room to meet with all 4 of them at once to talk, ask questions, etc.


So down the hall in this tiny conference room, we all sat and stared at each other. I wasn't really sure where to begin even though I'M the one that requested this observation time. They talked a little about the typical day, how they do all the busy activities in the morning, snack time, more activities, lunch, story time, nap time, activities, home. Wowza...very structured. Then, a few of my concerns came out (not necessarily in this order) and we came to realize or were told about solutions.

1. Mason takes 2 hour naps.
They can work around this. Most kids take 45 minute naps, some don't nap at all. Mason will likely adapt to this schedule...or, if he doesn't nap, will likely sleep when he gets back to Michelle's at 2:45/3:00. Also, Mason needs a nuk to fall asleep, and is usually rocked to sleep. They LOVED this. I think they are going to fight for "cuddle duty".

2. Mason needs to be fed, cannot feed himself.
Not a problem, the cafeteria will provide some of his food. They have teachers assistants to help. Told them about what he eats, what he drinks and how.

3. Diapering facilities.
They have them...and they do that.

4. Bus - is there an aide (a familiar face) on it with him?
No, he would get on the wheelchair van with Michelle's help in the morning, ride in the bus with 1 or 2 others, and a teacher's aide would get him off the bus at school. They work the early childhood bus around the other bus schedule, so he will arrive at school after the other kids and will head home before the other kids. Kids learn to love the bus. My biggest concern is him driving by Gma and Gpa's each day and screaming all the way to school because they didn't take him to Gma and Gpa's. I think Michelle is still worried about this and wants to drive him to school. (I'm working to convince her otherwise).

5. Mason needs lots of one on one attention.
In anticipation of Mason, they increased one person on their staff from part-time to full-time. This kind of makes me giggle, I'm not sure why.


We talked about what Mason's daily activities are, what he's eating, what he likes...all kinds of stuff. I gave them the tips about books (he's obsessed with page turning), about Mickey Mouse (good tool to keep him occupied) and about door knobs/drawer handles (if he sees them, he wants to grab them). This is the stuff they really jotted notes about. I'm sure all those tidbits of information are extremely helpful in learning what makes him tick. We also talked about his understanding, how he knows more than he can express. We talked about his expressions, and how he'll show you he's tired, or hungry, or pissed off. We've learned them, and now this staff of 4 plus all the extras (nurse, bus driver, teachers aides) need to learn them too!

At one point in this talk we tried to convince them it was a good idea for the Spence-man to come to Early Childhood with Mason. They didn't take the bait. Darn it. (Seriously though, that would be SO beneficial for both of them.) Come January, Spencer is going to be super upset about Mason getting to leave on a bus just like both of his sisters...but. not. him. Better stock up on bribes for that day!

What's SUPER COOL is that Chloe is going to be right next door for the first 5 months of school. I wonder if we can have a plan in place to have "Chloe to the rescue" if they can't calm Mason down. Can THAT be written into an IEP?

We discussed Mason's medical history. Heart is good to go, shouldn't be any more issues, I explain. Seizures are another thing. We need to make sure he doesn't get sick or need to have an A game when it comes to him getting sick and/or fever.

At the end of our talk in the conference room, the speech therapist says "I'm excited actually. This is my first VCFS kid". I explain that if it were for VCFS alone, Mason would be highly functioning. It's the brain disorder that's got him so delayed. Regardless, I think all 4 of these ladies are ready for the challenge.

After our discussion, we took a tour to see the other classroom they use for therapies. Lots of fun new things for Mason to do. On our way to the room, the PT asks me "So how are you feeling about all this?" I was honest. "I'm completely freaked out actually."

The entire visit lasted about 1 hour, 15 minutes. An emotional 75 minutes...and I'm still freaked out. However, this is going to be so great for Mason and I'm hoping the additional therapies and socialization really help him to grow. That keeps me excited about this process even though I feel like I'm losing "Mommy control". It's one thing to send your baby off to your sister's house each day, a sister than has raised 3 wonderful kids...but a whole other thing to send him off to a building full of strangers.

*Break for mommy tears*

So Dear Mason buddy - prove mommy's worries unnecessary and make this a seamless, positive transition. Learn. Grow. Make Friends. Be Happy. Love, Mommy